8 going on 2

Ugh....

My child is 8 going on 2 in the bathroom department.  It started on Friday at my moms house, then 3 times on Saturday, 3 times on Sunday, 2 on Monday, 0 on Tuesday and now today.  I don't get it!  I mean I get it because we went and saw his therapist today and a flood of emotions came out of him. 

Hes mad and upset about the baby coming. He thinks the baby is going to be a pest and that mo will spend all her time with the baby and not with him.  Although I have reassured him that it won't happen, I guess he will have to see to believe.  I asked the doctor today why all of a sudden is he acting this way? His response made sense...duh, why didn't I think of that?  He said that Ryan is acting out because he is upset about the baby coming.  and why now...because reality is setting in. I am showing more, the babies room is starting to come together and things are becoming more real.  Makes sense right? 

I was so excited that we didn't have an accident yesterday and after the doctors appointment today I thought we were on the right track.  That all went out the door when I walked into his room.  we came home from the appointment and I had to finish up some work, then we were going to make dinner.  He wouldn't come out to talk about dinner so I went in his room.  The smell was horrible.  He was sitting on the floor behind his bed.  UGh...the smell. 

Thankfully the doctor agreed with what we are doing about the accidents...I was worried that we were either being to strict or not strict enough.  Our plan has been he has to take a shower then clean the underwear himself in the sink. 

I dread telling Rob when he gets home.  He tends to want to punish ryan by spanking him and I don't think that will help.  He gets mad and it gets me frustrated and emotional.  It puts a wedge between us....I build a wall...cry  in the bathroom and usually go to bed early to avoid him.  This feeling sucks...knots in my stomach but when we talk about it we can't agree and I can't handle it.  So i run....

for today's accident, he just showered, now he is cleaning his underwear, I am writing my frustrations in hopes that I will figure out how to handle this with Rob later, and I am thinking that the books ryan got back today will now be taken away again (for lying and hiding the fact that he pooped his pants), and he will have to sit out here in the livingroom and not hang out in his room. 

I really hope that this gets better, I really hope that things between him and the resentment he has for this baby get better. Ryan is my dude, he will always be my dude and that will never change.  I wish that he could see that just because little man is coming into the family doesn't mean I won't love him any less.  I will always go to bat for Ryan, protect him, love him, care for him.  One day...

School Meeting (I dead these)

EIP's = annual meeting at the school. 

Why do I alwasy feel like we did something abd to our child at these meetings?  And why do I always become so emotional when I'm sitting there next to my husband and Ryans teachers. 

Today was our annual meeting at school with Ryans gen ed teacher, his speech teacher (thats what he calls her), my husband and some admin lady.  Ryan is progressing well in school but we still have some issues to work on.  I am glad to see the progress he is making and I look forward to seeing more progress being made. 

Unstructured time is hard for dude.  He has no problems talking to adults and can have a full on conversatin with them.  But dealing with kids his own age is a differnet story.  I always wonder if its something I did to him when he was little.  Did I not let him hang out with kids his own age enough? Is it some random side effect of all the vaccitations I had from teh militray? or breathing all the jet fumes the first three months he was in my tummy.  I have all these questions on if it was me and is there anything I could have done differently.  But I know, I will never get the answers to these questions and some days it kills me and dperesses me that my child is not "normal".  other times Im so impressed with my dude, that I am beeming from ear to ear and I'm just the proudest mom in the world.

We will work with him this summer on "first, then" statements and more peer interaction.  First we are going to play a board game then you can read.  First we are going to talk about our day at dinner, then you can read.  That way he knows whats coming next and can prepare for the converstation, be in the moment and knows what will follow directly after the conversation.  I think that will help him more with transitions. 

Peer interaction I hope is easier this summer.  I always worry about this.  He doesn't have friends...no one in the neighborhood he can play with.  we thought about not sending him to day camp this year but in teh end thought it would be the best thing for him. I still think it will be the best thing for him.  I'm hoping he makes some friends that can come over, play and just be boys.

The ups, down and all arounds of parenthood.

The good, The Bad, The Ugly

Finally!  A place I can be myself….vent and tell things like it is.  I have been debating to be bluntly honest on my other blog but am worried I might share to much information.  What would people think if I talk about my relationship with my husband, my family, and my son.  Will they think I’m crazy, sharing to much information.  Will I make people mad for sharing to much information.   That’s not what I want to do so I needed a place I vent, I can be myself, I can tell it like it is and not be worried about what people say. 

It’s kind of like my online diary.  One that no one will read but me…one that I can be open about my feelings and one that I can share all things about my life. 

The good, the bad, the ugly.