8 going on 2

Ugh....

My child is 8 going on 2 in the bathroom department.  It started on Friday at my moms house, then 3 times on Saturday, 3 times on Sunday, 2 on Monday, 0 on Tuesday and now today.  I don't get it!  I mean I get it because we went and saw his therapist today and a flood of emotions came out of him. 

Hes mad and upset about the baby coming. He thinks the baby is going to be a pest and that mo will spend all her time with the baby and not with him.  Although I have reassured him that it won't happen, I guess he will have to see to believe.  I asked the doctor today why all of a sudden is he acting this way? His response made sense...duh, why didn't I think of that?  He said that Ryan is acting out because he is upset about the baby coming.  and why now...because reality is setting in. I am showing more, the babies room is starting to come together and things are becoming more real.  Makes sense right? 

I was so excited that we didn't have an accident yesterday and after the doctors appointment today I thought we were on the right track.  That all went out the door when I walked into his room.  we came home from the appointment and I had to finish up some work, then we were going to make dinner.  He wouldn't come out to talk about dinner so I went in his room.  The smell was horrible.  He was sitting on the floor behind his bed.  UGh...the smell. 

Thankfully the doctor agreed with what we are doing about the accidents...I was worried that we were either being to strict or not strict enough.  Our plan has been he has to take a shower then clean the underwear himself in the sink. 

I dread telling Rob when he gets home.  He tends to want to punish ryan by spanking him and I don't think that will help.  He gets mad and it gets me frustrated and emotional.  It puts a wedge between us....I build a wall...cry  in the bathroom and usually go to bed early to avoid him.  This feeling sucks...knots in my stomach but when we talk about it we can't agree and I can't handle it.  So i run....

for today's accident, he just showered, now he is cleaning his underwear, I am writing my frustrations in hopes that I will figure out how to handle this with Rob later, and I am thinking that the books ryan got back today will now be taken away again (for lying and hiding the fact that he pooped his pants), and he will have to sit out here in the livingroom and not hang out in his room. 

I really hope that this gets better, I really hope that things between him and the resentment he has for this baby get better. Ryan is my dude, he will always be my dude and that will never change.  I wish that he could see that just because little man is coming into the family doesn't mean I won't love him any less.  I will always go to bat for Ryan, protect him, love him, care for him.  One day...